Posted in Mom life, Two Cents Worth of...

Trust with our Children

Since my son was born, trusting people has become quite hard. Trusting them in the sense of being with him alone is hard.

Of course, no one is perfect and no one is you, their parent, but trusting them is something we need to do as parents in order to go back to work and go out and live life.

I notice myself being quite picky though I know some people are very qualified. It is a mother’s instinct or intuition that sometimes says, “this doesn’t feel right.” It’s not something you can just brush off your shoulder either. That feeling wears on you relentlessly.

My coworker recently asked me if I was okay with my son being back in daycare. I said, “Yes, they’re taking the proper protocol and precautions right now and I have to trust them.” It was a fib. I even told her that, “I put up a strong front but behind that is a worried mother, just like every other mother around me.” She gets it, she also has a son who is a little older. Her tough decisions come when schools decide what they have to do and she has to trust that they have her kid’s best interest in mind. That’s another topic for another day.

What bothers me most about the trust of daycare right now is that our favorite teacher recently left. No fault of hers, life has big plans for her! But she was someone, that while I didn’t know her before our son enrolled there, we got along, we talked all the time, and I had faith in her and trusted her most when she was there with him. It was a sense of trust and calmness a mom needed when sending her kid to daycare in a scary world.

I know the other teachers are capable and qualified. They wouldn’t work there if they weren’t. I miss having the person I trusted most there though for that sense of calmness to my day, as selfish as it sounds. In the end, he is safe and happy going there each day.

It may sound dumb to some, but my mom and I can tell you to this day who my favorite teacher at my daycare was growing up. Miss Balock was her name. She was that person for my mom when I went and we even had a relationship that we would visit her at her second job at TGI Fridays for dinner and I would get to make dessert in the back with her as a kid. It was small gestures and small things she may have done then but I’m 32 years old and remember her and the sense of calmness she brought to my days then.

Back to trusting of others with my kid.

There are people in my life I wouldn’t walk away from with my kid as their responsibility. There are more I would than not, which is great.

Having the feeling of trust to know that your kid is safe is a heartwarming feeling.

I mean that in the sense of two recent instances that we had with friends of ours that made me feel that way. We visited their homes and within moments of arriving they had offered a drink to my son first and they were on the ground playing with him rather than worrying about us.

Their first and only concern was my son’s wellbeing and if he was happy.

Know what the absolute best feeling is though? When we have friends who are family to us that love our kids as much as we do.

I could go on and on about this topic because I have cried on more than one occasion when leaving my son with someone and it means the most to us that we ensure he is cared for and loved.

Understand that parents always have a fear and concerned feeling under their strong fronts. We love these little humans with every ounce of our body. If we say we aren’t comfortable, don’t push us. We know who we trust and what we’re willing to allow our children to do and who they will be with.

Posted in Mom life, Two Cents Worth of...

Change Brings Change

My son is back in daycare. It’s great for him socially and he has missed other littles so much. He hops right on in there each morning like mom doesn’t exist! That makes me happy and sad at the same time. But here is the fun part, we have been developing a bit more independence and attitude. I’ll say it 1,000 more times, I’m blown away at how fast children learn and develop!

The huge one for us was that he is now walking. He was on the brink of walking right before he started 3 weeks ago, but we figured as soon as he saw others in daycare walking, he would jump on in. We were right about that and he is motoring everywhere now with that new found independence.

What else we are doing since going back is showing his frustration to things when he then reacts by either screaming, crying, or hitting me. He hits me pretty directly too with his misunderstanding of why he is not getting what he wants.

I’m not blaming daycare since he has quite the attitude prior to going and I will 100% take the fault on genetics for that one. Sorry buddy, that’s all mommy inside your personality there. I wouldn’t doubt though he has witnessed someone else doing it and maybe picked it up. Again, not their fault or other kids, it’s a developmental step for him to understand things and react.

Yes, I’m working to redirect his actions since at this age he is not entirely certain what he’s doing is wrong and the word “no” only makes him more agitated.

It isn’t fun to witness your kid be a little turd though. I hope it is mostly towards only me as his mom at home and he keeps his shit together around others though. That’s what we all hope as parents, right?

When he has a bad day and I’ve talked to my mom, I always joke with her, “if he keeps this up, he’s moving in with you!” So what if he is only a year old? We can joke about those false threats right?

Reality is though that while he is learning this new change, mom and dad are too. We have to work with him as patiently as we can and teach him right from wrong. With all of the changes that are occurring pretty regularly now, it’s guaranteed to bring further change to our lives.

We can let it stress us (mostly me) or we can learn with it and continue to work together. While I totally feel the frustration myself when he is mad or hits me, I have to find the patience he needs in his mom to help him.

Like I said, I’m amazed at how much and how fast they learn. So with that, he will learn quickly and we will get through this set of changes until the next ones come along!