Two Trips Around the Sun

2 years. 730 days. 17,520 hours. 1,051,200 seconds.

All the moments we’ve spent loving our son since he came into this world as of May 28,^, 2019. (Tomorrow for some reading this). Two years since he has been born!

I was talking with someone this past week about when it’s his turn to have kids and how excited he is. He had every question under the sun about how it is. I loved that conversation!

It brought out a side of me that simply showed how amazing motherhood is. More vaguely, parenthood.

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I was always taught and brought up to know that you let others brag about your children. Mainly because you sound like a bit of an ass constantly bragging about your own kids, but also, when others say it, you can puff your chest as a proud parent in knowing you are raising a good human.

I give a little “toot toot” about my son and how much I love him, but you read my blogs about the sides of him that make me go “boy, you’re moving in with grandma tomorrow!”

I was overwhelmed with talking about how much I love parenting my son. In a good way, that it surprised even me. I think because we as adults constantly dwell on the bad side of things, rather than the best sides of things. It’s our nature.

I have had moments before where I wasn’t sure it was for me. I know my son picked me to be his mom, but I wasn’t sure I was cut out to be a mom in general. I have always wanted to be a mom but I had my doubts, which I believe is normal for some of us.

He brings out the best of it all, even the tough moments and smiling back at them.

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I’m not the one who will scream, “I LOVE BEING A MOM!” It’s freaking hard and some days being a mom isn’t what you want on your to-do list. But in that conversation I had, my heart swelled so much talking about it all and truly how much I love it and most importantly, my son.

We talked about how my husband was in every moment of our son’s birth. It is one of my favorite parts of welcoming our son into the world.

My husband legitimately called out every moment like a sports broadcaster while I pushed. Ask him. It’s now funny because I told him if he again tells me the details he did then, I’ll probably ask him to shut up. 😉

Either way, our son has been bringing us literal joy, laughter, worry, memories, anger, and most importantly more love into our life for the past 2 years on this side of the world. Of course, he brought us all that while I was pregnant too.

In these past two years, they are not kidding when they say you see your heart on the outside of your body when your children are born. It continues to grow as he does. (cliché, I know!)

He knows how to make his mom smile and cry at the same time.

He is my boy. He is my husband’s buddy. He is our world.

Happy 2^nd Birthday, bubs! Mom & Dad love you!

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No, No, No

Here we are, in the “NO” zone with my just about 2-year-old and I hate it.

This morning, I opened his bedroom door and said, “Good Morning!” as I always do. Normally there is no response, but today, I heard a stern, “no.”

Sure, we all feel that when our alarms go off each morning before work. This was a great example of how he is knee deep into using this word daily! I’m also not as chipper as that text may read to you when I say my good morning to him.

There is no sugar coating this phase because it’s hard and we don’t know exactly how to correct it. We know every kid goes through it though and it’s not simply the Terrible Twos everyone loves to tell me are coming. *eye roll*

Truly, I think it’s getting worse before it gets better. Which is how most scenarios work, right?

I’ve offered to give him away. (Anyone who doesn’t understand that and is judging me, move along.)

The face when he says “No” to dinner. Life isn’t ALL smiles all the time, people.

Reality is we’re stuck here for a moment until we figure it out. I have searched on what we can do as well as reached out to friends who work with children regularly to help me know what other things we can try.

I find myself being extremely frustrated with him. More than I’d like to admit to but I’m human and it’s exhausting. He’s exhausting because he has mom’s stubborn and persistent side that I knew would be coming for me to handle and deal with.

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One of my closest friends works with kids daily in her job so she was someone I reached out to when I felt like we had hit a wall and who could provide some tips for us to try.

Below are a few of the items we discussed trying in the next few weeks to ease our stress and direct him out of this phase. Maybe they’ll help another parent going through this phase at the same time as we are.

• Changing the trend. He is used to getting away with things for so long, that we have to stand firm when we ask something of him and follow through. Do not allow that long rope as we have done before. He will learn the new pattern after some time.
• Rewarding the behavior or words that you want and ignoring the negative. Give over the top praise or big celebrations so it is very clear that what he did was good, and we’ll hope that he repeats again.
• Provide choices to him. They feel that they have a little more control when provided a decision to make on their own.
• Ask him to help a lot. Instead of saying, “it’s time to clean up” ask them instead to help me and try to make a game of it for them.
• Favorite one is to always redirect. Quoting her here, “it’s my go to for when we’re stuck on the “no” merry go round.” By telling them, “Let’s do this” instead of “do you want to…” can help.
• Last resort is to send to the grandparent’s house. 😊

I’ve already told my mom that she may have a new house guest if he keeps it up! She has no problem with that, but of course that’s not how it works for us.

We’ll keep pushing through these tough days of his phase and hope that the tips given work. We as parents do need to work together on this too so we’re on the same page giving him the same reactions and actions from each of us.

To be fair to this sour patch kid of mine right now does have the biggest heart for his mama. He gets me flowers when we’re outside and gives me the sweetest hugs when he sees I’ve hit my limit with him. Not before I’ve heard about 300 “no’s” though.

Send some hugs our way and hope we make it through unscathed! 😉

Sometimes We Need a Hand

The title is a metaphor for a story that happened last week.

We went out to dinner at a restaurant located at our mall. Afterwards we went through the mall to Target, of course. As we approached the escalator to go down a dad and two kids were ahead of us. The dad and son hopped on and down they went. The daughter froze at the top in fear and began to cry. She was maybe 7 or 8 years old.

He quickly realized he made a mistake and was in a pickle as he saw us coming up behind her and she wouldn’t move. He kept saying, “c’mon, it’s alright!”

My best guess is that he doesn’t go out with them alone much or else he would have grabbed her hand for the confidence she needed to step on it. He wasn’t anyone I’d say wouldn’t have helped her if he had known. I saw the fear and worry on his face of, “do I keep going? Do I run up? Do I ride back up?”

Before anyone comes at me for COVID rules, everyone was masked, kids included, but mine who is still too young for the restrictions.

My son was beginning to be restless himself, so my husband was carrying him through the mall, so he had him, and I was the diaper bag carrier. There was lots going on from a parent’s perspective at this moment as we got closer to the escalator and I realized the dad was stuck on what to do next.

My reaction was asking her if she would hold my hand to go down the escalator. She didn’t even look at me to know that’s all she needed. I was a perfect stranger, and she needed a hand that I was willing to offer. I did look at the dad for some form of “okay” and we rode down together.

She kept crying a bit, but she said, “I was just scared!” Girlfriend, let me tell you, I get it!

We made it down safely and back to dad and brother she went.

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I relate to her in the fact that when something scary is happening, I want a hand to hold to tell me it’ll be alright, whether it’s physically or someone supporting me verbally. I want someone with the courage to tell me, “we got this!” I want someone to push me to do it even though I’m scared.

A little bit of support truly can get someone through a really tough situation. Of course, we all handle them differently but simply being there for someone can make all the difference in a situation.

I believe this goes for children, as that little story tells above that we experienced last week. They rely on us as their parents, aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, etc. to help them find a way through the scary and hard stuff life throws at them that they have not experienced yet.

My son is showing more and more emotion as well as using more and more words to express himself daily. We’re currently in the “no” phase.

I keep reading and watching things on how to help children develop or handle things because I don’t know what to do all the time. The things I’ve learned help in knowing that sometimes if I simply sit with him when he’s upset, that is all he needs. He doesn’t know how to handle big feelings yet and to be honest, I don’t either some days.

But if as his mom I can show him that I’m here, even after I scolded him for something, that is going to show him the support and hand is there to help him in the end to resolve the situation and I’m not simply the bad guy all the time.

I may be rambling to you, but do it, put your hand out for someone. Even if that someone is your child after a bad day at daycare or school. Show them you’re there to just sit and be there to talk about what happened and that it can be corrected or avoided.

I’ve had a few friends put their hands out for me in all forms of personal life or work life and I can’t tell you how much that’s meant to me. Also a little *high five* for my hubby because he handles me so well when I need that support.

Sometimes, we need a hand, even the little ones around us.