Play Dates… for Adults too

We set up play dates for our kids, or in my case, a friend suggests it because I’m a homebody and fail to reach out. However, as much as our little ones need the time with other littles, did you realize how much YOU need it too?

I didn’t until the other day. One of my long-time close friends who I consider family, texted me asking if our son’s could get together. I immediately said yes because my son has been having some very busy days and outcries showing he’s over mom and dad.

These two boys are totally best friends when they’re together. To the point they melt our hearts when they hug one another with emphasis and her son tells him, “I love you!” Cue the emotional tears welling up in your eyes when you get to witness that. *GAHHH I love our kids*

Anyways, back to what I was getting at.

They came over in the afternoon and our sons jumped into all of the toys and proceeded to enjoy their time together. Well, his mom and I got to chatting. We’re Italian so all we do is talk.

But she mentioned that she was home and thought to herself how she was bored and figured she needed out as much as him. We were together for several hours in our home watching the kids play and doing nothing but being friends.

Nothing more simple than that.

We even had a cup of tea and pizza for dinner. How old do we sound?! HA! I literally asked her if she takes sugar in her tea. Sorry mom and Bridge, but I sounded like a REAL MOM for a second. 😉

There was something so nice about that time though. Sure, we witnessed our sons escalate their energy to about 200 miles an hour then come back down and begin the cranky tiredness of bed time. In that time of them ramping up and then winding down, we got to be who we are again, friends.

That time with a friend was much needed as a decompress of life. I didn’t think about the crazy world around us. We were mindlessly enjoying one another’s company and that was it.

We got to be the friends we always have been. Of course we talked mom life, but we also laughed over other things and chatted girl talk. That’s part of being friends through all of the stages of life.

After she and the kids left, that’s when I realized everything I mentioned above and how simple it was. How needed the time with her was for me and I hope her as well!

Make sure that you’re setting up time for your kiddos to have fun but also for yourself. Sure, you may do things with them or go places with others around, but are you enjoying it as much as them? Maybe reevaluate the play date to accommodate yourself a little bit too.

It might be something you didn’t know you needed like I did. I’m very thankful for friends like her that I know will always be around and keep me grounded but make sure we stay true to who we were before we were moms.

Us, before we were moms, but I love us through every stage, because we’re still friends!

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Friends. Don’t Forget Them.

Going back to a similar point about friends that I touched on last week about mom friends, but this time, friends you had before you had kids.

We are all on different timelines and plans. That is life. Don’t let it interfere with your friendships.

Don’t ever forget the ones that don’t have the minions.
They’re critical in your life too!

It’s their life whether they have them or not, but since you chose to have them doesn’t mean you should forget the ones you were friends with before them. They helped create and mold you to who you are so why would you want to exclude them from the future?

Make sure you call them. Make sure you include them. Make sure you still love them and know they want to be a part of things just as much as you do too.

A very close friend of mine said to me the other week, “I really appreciate that you and *other said friend* still include me all the time now that you both have kids. It means a lot. I’ve had friends in the past who have had kids and they have left me out since.”

I had not realized that from her perspective before even though I was the friend who was kid-less while others had children a few years back. I always thought about it from my parent side, that those without kids don’t want to be around others with kids because we have someone to take care of. We have been left out or not invited to things because of having a child. While I don’t believe people do it intentionally they don’t realize we would love to come, if we’re able and the invite is always nice.

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Her comment opened my eyes that it happens both ways. But in the end, we were friends before I had my son and still remain friends now and to be honest, we’re better friends even.

Truth be told, the friends in my life are those that love my child as much as we do so I want nothing more than for every one of them to be a part of his life and make an impact on him as they have done for us.

Our friends are family. That’s just how my husband and I roll. I’m sure many of you can relate to those that you keep in your inner circle.

Just keep in mind, friends should remain your friends whether you have minions or not. Make the call and ask them over. They might enjoy and be surprised to hear from you and be just what you both need, a night to catch up!

Mom Friends. We need them.

Mom friends. You need them.

You don’t need to see one another daily or talk daily to be able to get together once in a blue moon and feel great about being a mom. All the quirky things you do at home thinking you may be the oddball of a mom are actually “normal” and your mom friend did the same stuff as you and you two can laugh about it.

I’m lucky enough to have friends who have all had kids within the last few years or around the same time as my son. We are obviously busy and stretched thin some days. But in the moments we can get together it’s SO NICE.

One of the best reasons is to see them again is we can get out and enjoy an evening as who you met them as without the kids. We were someone before we became moms. That girl matters, never forget that.

The next reason is because it’s nice to have friends that can be real with you about motherhood. Real in the fact that it is hard and it is quirky and it is the best moments in your life.

I’ve been able to see a handful of them recently and spend some time together and the conversations are just what I needed to refuel my own tank.

Some things I heard among our get togethers are below. These are all different ladies, who are different moms, who have different lives, yet we love our kids unconditionally but also know how to keep it real.

• “We were out one night with a babysitter at home. We waited until 5 minutes after their bed time to go in knowing they were in bed so we could sit on the couch and watch what we wanted to watch.”
• “I shut his door. I shut our door. I went into our bathroom and shut that door. Then I screamed.”
• “I told my son I was over him today.”

Those comments stuck out to me because they are all things I have done. I didn’t say them, but I did them as well. And those comments are from three DIFFERENT friends that weren’t together with me when they said it. Yet we all have moments in common because we are moms.

We’re all here just trying to do our best. No matter how different we choose to parent our children, we are the same in some ways.

The life we chose is to have these minions and we absolutely love them, but knowing we are still human and have flaws and thoughts the same as another mom can make us feel like we aren’t failing on those tough days.

The tough days come and go. Having mom friends is so critical though.

If you need a mom friend, I’m here! I’ll bring you into my tiny tribe! It’s how we can all survive, even if we aren’t able to see one another as often as we like. Let’s keep it real and support one another!

High five to all you ladies out there killin’ it as a mom and keeping it real too!
So glad to have the ones I know and call my friends!

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Freezing Moments

I want to freeze moments. Not only with my child but also with my life and loved ones all around me. Hell, right now, I would even freeze moments at work because my new job is THAT good with the people I work with.

I am sure everyone could wish the same thing about freezing a moment because there are so many moments that make our hearts feel so full. Full of love, friendship, adoration, and just the fulfilled moment of happiness.

So what if I am a bit sappy writing this. I have had many of these moments recently and they can really help drown out the bad ones we all have. Believe me, the bad days can suffocate anyone but why not write on the good ones instead of highlight the bad. There is so much bad around us anyways, we don’t need to focus on that right now.

Below are a few moments I love that are frozen by a photograph and why I love them.

If you think of a moment you have frozen by a photograph,
drop it in the comments to share below!

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My parents are in Vail, CO skiing on their vacation that we have gone on in the past but with a little one it wasn’t quite in our cards this year to join them. We hope to join them again in the coming years for sure! The picture below melted my heart. My long time best friend currently lives in Colorado for work with her fiancé. As soon as I told her a little while back that my parents were coming, she quickly made plans to meet them. Not only that, as soon as my parents got to their place I got a text from my dad saying, “This is Lindsey’s room when she comes.” Forget me, his only child, one of his pseudo-daughters is coming to join them and he has to be sure she is taken care of! All week long I have been getting updates from each of them on their days skiing and how she is going back out next week to join them again.

Know why I want to freeze this moment? I was lucky enough to meet this girl when she came to our school in the 7^th grade. We grew up together making all kinds of memories together whether it was on the softball field, at our homes, or at the lake together with both of our parents treating us as their own additional kid. I want my son to grow up making friends that become family too. Moments like this where she is with my parents and I with hers.

My parents, my BFF, and her fiance
Vail, CO 2020

My BFF, her mom & my son

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This moment. Five of us together. Not blood, but still family. These crazies are my claimed siblings. I grew up with them since they were born and we have each added one more to our mix. My husband and then my “little brother’s” girlfriend. Without them, my family would be extra small for sure, but they also add a lot of love and life to the years. This moment was one I never imagined would happen but it did and it was great. My “little sister” convinced us all to visit her at her college for her last semester after her senior diving meet. It was SO worth the trip.

Little bro, my hubby, little bro’s GF, me, and little sis

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Long time friends. The ones we each have known since grade school in some capacity. The ones that grow in different directions as individuals with their own lives but remain as close as ever because we are THOSE kind of friends. Without them I am not sure what direction I may have taken or the other memories I may have made. But I know for damn sure, I can call on any of them at any moment, their parents too for that matter, and know they would be there for me.

This picture was on a day in San Diego when the one thing I asked to do was visit the Top Gun bar. The girls all were a bit iffy on my idea but once we got there and had a drink together, the memories began and the day remains as one of my absolute favorite from that trip. Also, our bartender made this day hilarious.

All of my BFFs & our bartender

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This right here makes me smile because these people are who I was lucky enough to meet when I met my husband. They’re the kind of people you don’t need to know for forever to feel like you’ve known forever. He grew up with the guys and their other halves have become very close friends of mine that I can count on for laughter, trust, and advice. Plus a few beverages among us is always a guarantee!

Not pictured is a bunch more of our friends & family that have our hearts in central Pennsylvania that we love spending time with and making moments like this happen.

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My two handsome men in my life. The picture I didn’t know I needed at work the day he sent it to me. These two make my days better when I have a bad one.

We are rocking daddy daycare while my husband is off work for a bit and he is rocking his role. Our son is soaking in the moments too by growing like a weed and learning new things with dad at home to help him. This moment is such a great frozen moment for me to have and adore.

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I have printed so many photos over the years and put them into albums. Call me old school, but I don’t want anyone to forget what we have done. I absolutely adore old photos of my family and me as a kid with my parents in them. I want my child to have that too as well as anyone else I have wonderful memories with.

Take the pictures. Freeze the moment. Remember the feelings you felt when you were there. Relive them over and over again.