“Three More Minutes, Mom”

My son is nearing his third birthday and I’m struggling to accept how fast time really moves when you have a kid.

Everyone tells you it moves fast. We know this, but then you blink and there goes another year.

I know there are many moments as parents we struggle to push through saying, “oh my gosh, when does this end?!” for whatever reason. Then we guilt ourselves wondering why we wished time away.

I hate wishing time away, I do.

However, back to me sitting on the bedroom thinking about time with our children. I’ve realized how much time he gives me to sit with him, even if it is in silence while he falls asleep after I’ve read him his bedtime stories.

His recent quote to us is, “three more minutes, mom, okay?”

He has no real concept of what time is and how long those 3 minutes are. He got that from us always preparing him for what’s happening next. We always tell him, “Hey, we’re leaving in 10 minutes.” Or “bedtime is in 5 minutes!” If he knows something is coming, the tantrums and meltdowns are much more minimal than if we spring something on him.

It’s our way to prepare and plan for him so he can understand and accept the next thing to happen. We like a plan as adults too so why shouldn’t we provide that to him as well?

Every night when I take my son to bed, we have our routine. We read a book of his choice, say our quick prayer, and go to sleep while I hold his hand. The moment we finish that prayer, he always says to me, “stay in my room three more minutes, mom, okay?”

Instant moment to melt into the floor as his sweet voice asks that.

But I do sit there and wait for him to fall asleep. Of course, we have the days he springs up and realizes I’m leaving and freaks out. Other moments, I can sneak out quietly and shut the door without being detected.

What I realized though, is even if I’m in his room for only 15 minutes every night, just me and him, alone in the quiet, we get almost 4 total days a year of simply time together.

Obviously, there are nights it is much more than those 15 minutes, and some are much less. However, the point I’m making is to stay for those “three more minutes.” They add up.

That gives me almost 4 entire days of time with solely me and my son in 1 year. That may not seem like much to some but as they grow and time flies on by us, those 4 days of time stay with us as we watch them sleep, giggle when you read their favorite book, or simply cry for you to stay a moment longer.

Stay three more minutes moms and dads. That time adds up. You won’t regret it.

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Bomb Squad

I’ve come to the conclusion parents of toddlers could all be viable candidates for the bomb squad. Parents of any age kid actually. All phases bring new tactics.

If you know, you know.

If not, let me explain my thoughts.

These tiny humans are elite explosive devices. They can be triggered at any second. At times they appear to be no harm and an innocent matter. But always destructive when they implode.

From the moment they’re born we treat them as a very delicate bundle so we do not break them. That is absolutely expected and rightfully should be how every parent is with the tiny babes.

We have found every creek and crack in our wood floors in our home since he has been born. Truly, since our son was tiny he was a great sleeper. The sleep regressions have all come and gone in their due time. They are pretty spot on with the timing!

This recent one is a doozy.

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I have had a lot of time sitting on his bedroom floor to think while he falls asleep. That is when I determined a parent could be a bomb squad member.

The patience we have waiting for them to calm and fall asleep is amazing, most nights. Sitting so still and speaking so softly to them.

When holding their hand, you have to move so incredibly slow to not wake them from the feeling of your hand leaving theirs. That is tactical. I have had some nights I literally lift one single finger at a time ensuring he won’t wake at each movement.

Exiting their room in a stealth like fashion so you do not step on a creeky piece of floor to wake them. We have to move slow and steady as if we are tip toeing around landmines because that’s what they are.

Parenting takes skill and tactical moves. Like when I crawled out on all fours the other night and my husband was laughing so hard once he caught me. No video evidence because I silently threatened him as he laughed.

In reality, our real bomb squad members are amazing at what they do and for good reason. I’m not knocking anyone’s job.

As a mom who overthinks while awake during the trying times, I think of ways to lighten the stress of the situation.

Nights are tough right now for us. It is a phase, I hope, like the others we will soon have behind us. Until that time comes, we will see what other fun thoughts I can come up with!

Traveling Tales

We recently took a trip out west to Colorado to enjoy skiing the beautiful Rocky Mountains. They’re a favorite place of mine to visit and stare at since it looks like a postcard every way you turn. I was so excited to take our son because well, it’s Colorado and a vacation with the family!

Our travels bring a list of things I can share with you. This is not a blog about “travel tips” per say, but more of a relation to not sweating the small stuff. At the time, they weren’t small, but looking back on them as I write this, they were.

I plan. We’ve determined that in other blogs I have written. This past year I have become much more lax in that regard and simply am learning to go with the flow of things the best I can without being hypersensitive to planning every single detail because realistically, it was messing with my anxiety and I could not continue to live like that.

Well, that caused some turmoil for our tip. Whoops.

Let’s start at the beginning. My best friend met us to take us to the airport and drop us off with all of our luggage. I stuffed my rear end in the back seat with my kid and all our crap while we drove out. I was so confident we had all that we needed for this trip and we were ready to go.

Meanwhile, I was panicking inside since the night before because of all these mask rules still and my son is 2 years old, meaning he’s legally required to wear one in airports. This was also a 4-hour flight for us and I was concerned about how well he would do.

We had practiced wearing a mask at home the week before and talked about how we would wear it. He is a great kid when we give him prep time for anything. If we don’t spring anything on him, he’s game for it!

We hop out of the car at the curbside check in and begin to gather out stuff. That’s when my husband and I realize we forgot my son’s winter jacket. In the middle of January, on our way to Colorado for a ski trip. I forgot his winter coat.

We had both assumed the other had grabbed it on our way out of the house. He was dressed in a t shirt and a warm zip up sweatshirt for the flight as we did for ourselves too. He wasn’t naked.

It gets better.

As I begin to check us in curbside, the employee asks, “how old is he?” I tell him he is two. Panic comes over his face for us. My dumbass failed to understand he rules of the “magic of 2” for flights. He was required to have a seat and my understanding was that he could still be a lap kid on the flight.

That whole “go with the flow” attitude just bit me in the ass. I booked these tickets months ago assuming it was all ready to go!

My poor husband was already stressed about the coat, and I see his face shift from calm to “oh, shit” as I watched him peel his layers off from sweating. I was now sweating and panicking even more inside, hiding it from him and my son trying to keep things calm like I have control of the situation.

Fast forward a touch and we had the kindest employee inside at the ticket counter help us. He was able to book him a ticket and match our price, so we were not gauged for an honest mistake. I am so very thankful for his patience and kindness in that moment! He was a dad himself and was so understanding with us. I’ll be forever thankful for his calmness and helping us out at that moment!

Now we get into line for the security checkpoint. My son is rocking his cute dinosaur mask like a champ. As we get closer my husband and I pull out our boarding passes and our IDs. My husband freaks out looking for his driver’s license. *face palm*

Here is where some of my overprepared-ness did come into play! I always pack our passports for travel in fear of needing them. I looked at him and told him calmy, “I have the passports, it’s fine.”

He continues to freak out on where his ID is. Finally, he finds it. Somehow, he tucked it in behind another card that he has never put it behind before. Either way, it was all good.

We are three for three on issues and not even to our terminal. However, that was the end of them!

A refreshing moment while all of this was happening was when a mom and her young son were ahead of us. My son and hers became quick friends over what he was watching on the tablet. It was a cute and quick friendship that helped them both go through security easily. They were also on our flight when we had passed her and she offered me a kind, “good luck!” for the flight.

We survived the airport and flight with no major issues at all. In fact, he did amazing on the flight! The best part of the day was when we arrived at my friend’s home and enjoyed a beer after that anxiety driven day, celebrating that we made it.

Now I have no real fun stories during the week in Colorado to offer. The trip was great. We all enjoyed our time out there making memories and skiing the beautiful mountains. We had even purchased a new coat my son absolutely loves at Walmart that he’ll probably fit into next winter.

The next story again comes during the travel part!

We had packed up with my parents in their rental car and stuffed all of us into it to begin our excursion back to Denver for our flight. My son had his chocolate milk and asked to watch his tablet. It was a 2 hour drive, so no problem!

Well, we have a tablet holder in our car at home that holds it to the headrest, so he is looking up at it and not down. Apparently, he gets car sick looking down. We never knew until this drive.

Picture this, the back seat was me, my mom and my son in that order in the car. As I’m talking to her, looking at her in the direction of my kid, I see everything unfold in slow motion.

Vomit projects from him and goes everywhere. He has not spit up since he was an infant. Honest.

He begins to freak out because it scared him. My husband was driving and he is trying to find a safe place to pull over on the highway. My mom and I begin looking all over the tightly packed car for anything to help us begin cleaning up. I’m hopping out of the car as he is still coming to a stop to get to the other side to begin consoling my kid.

Here is where I wish we had video surveillance of the situation unfold.

My dad was not sure what to do or where to go as we all began to scramble. I had only asked him to open all the windows because I started gagging from the smell of rotten milk puke. My husband quickly finds new clothes in the trunk for my son. My mom is pulling out wet wipes to begin cleaning up. I am unclipping my son and getting him out of the car. We stripped him as quickly as we could and put new clothes on him.

We must have gone through a half pack of wet wipes cleaning the car. To boot, this was a rental. It was everywhere!

In a matter of less than 10 minutes, we had this whole situation under control. I had placed my son in the front passenger seat for a few minutes too while my mom and I had finished finding what we could to clean up the rest. Realistically, there is only so much you can do on the side of a highway, in a rental car, with wet wipes to clean a car.

I had to sit next to him the rest of our drive so he would remain calm because he was pretty scared from what had happened. I mean, I dislike puking more than anything and it hasn’t happened to him in a long while! But we made it without any other issues. We found a great restaurant in Denver to enjoy lunch at and all settle again.

Our flight home was uneventful but perfect for our little guy. We made it home safely and all in one piece!

The moral to this entire blog is simply that, shit happens. Planning or not, you have to roll with the punches thrown at you as a parent. I’m not even telling you to remain calm because well, I didn’t for that last event on our trip and yet we made it out fine!

They’re all memories in our minds that we can finally laugh about. Every moment is not the best but, they’re moments we make it through!

If they didn’t happen, our vacation wouldn’t have been nearly as eventful! I wouldn’t have anything to tell you other that was worth of being told in this blog. It would have sounded like an Instagram post of perfect pictures not showing the reality of traveling on a family vacation!

What fun is that?!

Great Day Ends in Surfboard Carry

We recently went on vacation to Myrtle Beach, SC and had a great time! I have a few blogs to share with you that came to mind while there.

One specific day was awesome day with our son. Most were, but this story is about one day in particular.

I mean it. It was a storybook kind of day on our vacation at the beach.

We went to the beach in the morning. He ran, destroyed sand castles, jumped waves and got buried in the sand. He was a happy little man and had us all enjoying our time.

We all walked to lunch a few blocks away so we could eat beachside and have a fun drink. We pushed him on his tricycle the whole way there too. He even got a virgin strawberry daiquiri and felt so cool.

When we got back he took a long nap. My husband and I snuck away for some beach time until grandma and pap met us at the pool with him.

We swam together, dunked, splashed. You name it, we did it.

We convinced him to head upstairs for dinner and we all got ready then headed to a nice delicious dinner out. He even danced to a live band near the restaurant afterwards. He was making people laugh that were around us and making us chuckle at his little dance moves.

Then we take a turn and all shit breaks lose.

We went to the park for a few rides on the big kids slide because he wants to be a big kid so bad. We followed him around a bit and then suggested ice cream. Afterall, it is vacation.

He picked his flavor of cake batter, said “thank you,” waved bye to the gentleman who scooped it for him… and then saw the merry-go-round.

Grandma lit up and offered to take him so my husband found where to buy tickets for it. In that moment my son geeked out and decided he wanted the choo choo train ride instead.

There was no convincing him otherwise. 

We had to go buy additional tickets and then the train came in and he ran right to the engine, where he cannot ride, and when told no he flipped his lid. The guy running this stood still while my husband tried to wrangle him into the one to ride and my mom attempted to convince him to go in.

It was a total disaster.

My husband became irritated, my mom wasn’t sure what to do to help, my dad stepped back and I came to grab my son saying enough was enough because he didn’t need to ride it. The other kids had loaded and were ready to go.

We were those people with the tantrum driven toddler making a scene. Initiate instant sweat and the “WTF” mode. When I say “those people,” I’m referring to the ones you judged before you had kids and wondered why they would LET their kid act that way or be so ridiculous.

Let me be clear. My husband and I do not tolerate his crap, but realistically, he is two years old and emotions are hard as well as trying to get him to understand why he can or cannot do things. Another blog to come regarding this topic. 😊

My dad handed our tickets to another kid to ride something while we wrangled in the heathen, my sweet son everyone sees him as.

He was hitting my husband out of anger because again, emotions are hard for a 2 year old, while crying so I took him from my husband thinking I could calm him down, as we began the longest journey back to our car. A 5 minute walk… which I could not change his upset mind to calm down and I became the target of hitting and screaming.

I had to grab those tiny hands of his numerous times to stop him from hitting me while explaining since he didn’t listen it was time to go home.

Any parent knows where this lead to.

The surf board carry.

Absolutely embarrassed, we stuck to staying as calm as we could walking past so many people. You can feel either judgement or acceptance from the parents that get it from having to do the same walk before. I did see a few moms look at me with a smile of understanding seeing us go by. It gave me a very teeny tiny sense of relief knowing they were not going to call the cops thinking we were kidnapping him.

I eventually had to tag my husband in again to take him from me. But we made it to the car. Sweaty pits and all… on me, that is.

I was so pissed off at my son I had to ignore him for a moment to calm myself down so I didn’t snap because he doesn’t understand if I would. (I have in the past.) And both my parents are in the car with us reassuring my husband and I how he did so good all day up until that point and basically saying they get it and not to be embarassed.

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When we got back to our hotel it was immediately bed time. No ifs, ands or buts about it.

Thing was, he knew he messed up at this point because mama meant business and wasn’t giving in like usual.

He begged me to put him to bed.

I had to.

I needed to tell him why I was mad and why he cannot hit me or anyone. But more importantly I had to let him know I still love him even when he is angry.

We laid together for 20 minutes while he wound down. I got my good night kiss and squeezed him tight. He went to bed happy and the tears stopped. My heart hurt though because of the situation we had.

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The real point is that two year olds are perfectly tough. We had the very best day with him. Then we didn’t.

I couldn’t finish the day allowing him or myself to be unhappy with one another. Sure, I am still upset it ended the way it did and even apologized to my parents for his behavior and having to leave but they get it.

Kids are learning life and we have to help the best we can, even if it is by doing the surf board carry past tons of people either judging us or accepting us knowing they did it before too.

I struggled, he struggled, but man, I love him and still know we had the best day.

If your kids have a major meltdown and you do the surfboard carry, welcome to parenting. You’re doing alright, I promise!

Public Eyes

I’m not refereeing to your children in this post. I’m talking about the people around you everywhere you go with your kids.

As a new parent, most of us are really nervous about taking your children out and worrying what others think of you or think of the baby that may cry or coo or have a tantrum.

I remember being so nervous about it and sweating like crazy. I wouldn’t go places by myself in such worry of what may happen. I let that get to me too much.

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I remember the one evening we went to dinner and he was fussy so I quickly grabbed him and walked outside to rock him until he would calm. I try to be considerate to the best I can be. I’m not there to make anyone uncomfortable or listen to my baby cry like crazy while we all want to enjoy a nice evening out.

Another time we were in Target and our son did have a meltdown. We made a plan since I only had a few items to get. I quickly went for all the items while my husband took our son to the car and drove around while he calmed down. He still tells people how embarrassed he felt, though there is nothing you can do when they have tantrums, especially as an infant. I could hear my son all the way across the store he was so loud. WOOF!

Now that he’s a toddler, my nerves have calmed a bit and I have more of a “deal with it” attitude. He doesn’t cry like a newborn anymore, but he is a toddler and a busy guy at that. I don’t have the mentality of worrying what others think because well, most of them are parents themselves and understand that we’re doing the best we can in the situation. Also, toddlers can be jerks.

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A few scenarios that have happened to us that I want to share because I’m certain you all have experienced it too.

First one, we went out a few months back when restrictions were starting to lift and had dinner with our neighbors. We went to a new restaurant together to try out and it’s a touch more upscale than other restaurants in the area but not a reason for me to think my child wouldn’t be welcomed there. Our neighbors raised two boys, so they know what it’s like going out with kids and I felt very comfortable going with them.

However, my son likes to be busy, so we brought crayons and coloring items as we usually do to occupy him. That doesn’t always work though. He was chatty with his noises and crawling around the booth a bit between us. I kept seeing this woman at a table near us give me those looks of judgement. She was there with her husband and when I say she was giving me looks, I was getting heated inside and wanted to make a comment.

I refrained because it’s always not worth it. My son wasn’t screaming, he wasn’t throwing a tantrum and he was staying within our booth. It’s up to her to stare and not enjoy herself because she’s too worried about how my kid is acting. This occurs more than you’d like it too, but I really try to not pay attention to them. I also have my husband hitting my arm saying, “knock it off.”

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There’s another scenario we run into often and that is with the judgement of the younger people who do not have kids or are not around them. When I say younger, I mean 20 an under. I don’t think I’m old by any means. 😜

We went to the Pittsburgh Zoo & PPG Aquarium on Father’s Day. It was HOT! I’m so glad we went early because it only got hotter too and we were all sweaty by the time we left.

My son has enjoyed the zoo more every time we have gone! This time he was so excited to walk on his own most of the time and would become overwhelmed and excited with the animals he saw so he would squeal in excitement.

It was hilarious to us that he thought the animals were that cool and most parents thought it was funny too. The part where this turns is when we go into the monkey building. That cute squeal echoes inside there. We kept telling him to say “wow” or we would do the “shhh” finger move. I had one mom laugh and tell us, “Oh, he is just excited!!” Then we had a teenager and her mom eyeballing us.

To be totally fair here, we were passing people and not around most of the same people for long because he was too excited to stand still long enough to oodle at any of the monkeys. He quickly moved on to the next one! But this teenager and her mom somehow stayed close to us and I noticed the looks. I happened to fall back, and my son and husband got ahead of me. As I passed them, I hear the teenager say, “why would you let your kid keep squealing like that?” and I kept moving along.

I didn’t stick around for the mother’s response because as irritated as I was to hear that, we again were attempting to correct him since it was loud and we recognized that. She is also a teenager and I know I had once made those comments too not knowing much. There is some grace to be given in those situations.

I would really like to do a PSA for everyone around us when our kids are loud or acting out that the parents are TRYING and we don’t want to ruin your time either. Also, if you think they’re annoying, we probably already rolled our eyes and realized it ourselves. So nothing you do or say is making the situation better for anyone, especially the parents.

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The last scenario is the best one and not often do not happen to us because I believe people are more afraid to say the nice things than they are to be mean to people.

We go out to dinner here and there. It’s not always easy to keep a toddler occupied and happy. We have a little pack of crayons, matchbox cars, and learning cards on hand in his diaper bag to pull out and play with at the table.

For Father’s Day we went out to Texas Roadhouse and it’s always loud in there so I’m never worried about how loud he would be. But this night, of course, had a giant backup in their kitchen for the food and it was coming out late. We were waiting much longer than usual.

My husband and I stayed on edge a little knowing we only have X amount of time until he loses all interest in sitting in that booth. We both kept playing with him whether it was passing the cars across the table, coloring, picking at the blooming onion or he pretended to tickle us. He is NOT always that pleasant and we were very thankful that he was being so good with us being there for so long.

The entire situation was solidified when a lady, who I noticed was a mom too with her husband and 2 daughters that were maybe in their early 20s. She stopped at our table before they left to tell us how good our son was being and how cute he was.

A big sigh of relief came over me and my husband as we said thank you to them. That small comment to us really means a lot when they see we were doing what we could to keep him busy during that long wait for dinner.

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Again, every time we go out as a family, we are looking to enjoy ourselves as much as the next table. The public eye is always on you as a parent to make sure you’re “doing it right.”

The hardest part is to not let that pressure take over enjoying your time out together. Keep your heads up, bring some things to enjoy with the kids at the table, and understand not everyone is accepting of our choice of bringing kids to dinner but that is on them. They can be miserable if they choose to be. 😉